Katie did not shy away from the fatigue and fear that were her constant companions during her years of living with cancer. She was open to the Lord about her fears, her longings, and her concerns. She felt keenly her inadequacies as a mom living with cancer.”I don’t know how to handle any of this—and how do you handle it when you don’t ever feel well?”
I would suggest that one of the ways she handled it was by speaking continually with the Lord about her heart. You’ll see in the journal entry above that she also tried to focus attention the Good News, too. This is a pattern you can observe in the Psalms, where the writer often expresses his fear in one stanza and his hope in the next.
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I remember Katie’s strong desire to be present for the kids, despite her fatigue and pain. I drove her out to the Watkin’s farm and she picked up Arby’s for the crew hanging out and helping with the RV. She wanted to be at Joe’s swim lesson (maybe summer of 2015?) but was so tired and weak so she asked me to drive her there. Her sacrifice for the kids will always replay in my mind.